Word on the Street

Oh, Lord, I got a tip so absolutely juicy I'm pursuing an investigation...look for an article in the next two months. You're just going to have to sweat this one out.

Teabaggers "are gonna need a Dick Armey"...

Let's see how many dick jokes one cable newsman can pepper into a story about a tea-tossing tempest against "tyranny". I counted 19, not including the banner reading "teabagging mouthpieces" or the two tea bags in the cup on the green screen.



And he is absolutely right. It is taxation with representation. While I completely support these people's right to assemble, I do take issue with their failed metaphor, and their logic, especially considering the Bush Admin. and their spend now ask questions later policies. This is what happens when History and Civics aren't emphasized in the public schools. There's only 250 years of US History to go through, people. It's not like this is Britain, Scandinavia, or the Mid East. How embarrassing.

Video via Cajun Boy in the City

Radiolab

I've become addicted to this podcast. It's fantastic, engrossing, and it makes cleaning so much more tolerable. This program is not on our NPR affiliate yet, but it is pledge week, maybe we all can make a request while making a pledge. Tim Holt, have you heard this program yet? It's right up your alley.

Because you know you're miserable...

Do you work in advertising? Do you hate your job with every last breath in your body? Would you rather eat dog shit than have to listen to another client say they "just don't get" your proposal? Have you developed a drug/alcohol problem because your CD is a moron who continually brings you last minute video projects that are due in five or six hours? Is your AD currently suing the City because his branding campaign not only incensed half of the city, but wasted over $200,000 tax payer dollars and so they rightly terminated their contract and shopped the work (and his slogan) out to the competition? "You have no idea"? Really? "Capitol of the Border"? Does that mean that we're capitol of violence, corruption, consumption, and Maquilla slave labor wages? Do you want to commit hari kari every time you see those Western Refining ads touting their environmental record because your involvement in that ad campaign assists that company in spewing dioxin into our air and directly onto the residents of the Ascaraté neighborhood? Are you the asshole with Glass Beach branding who can't sleep at night because you insulted every citizen in El Paso with your fucking racist branding presentation? Do you regret going to school for graphic design or video production only to work a shitty freelancing job that pays a fraction of a fraction of what the agency is charging their client?

Allow me to suggest a blogger who shares your deep disgust for the industry. Mark the Copyranter is a brilliant, bitter bastard, and I love his blog. Stroll through the archive and into a universe of stupidity, terrible taglines, and, occasional insightful dissection of the industry.

Full disclosure: Mark linked to my Medium is the Massage post from a couple weeks ago. He just loves shit like that, so if you have any eye popping local ads, send him tips.

The cheap will inherit the earth

In response to this fucking ridiculous article in the New York Times which perfectly outlines how years of prosperity make people completely incapable of fending for themselves and putting anyone elses' suffering into perspective, I have started a food blog. It contains recipes designed to feed a family of six with leftovers for less than $20 for the entire meal. Some meals are less than $10, some are $5. When the economy has finally completely sunk into the gutter and these foodies are foraging for Splenda packets and stray Cheetos, I plan on starting a survivalist themed blog, because even then, I'm sure they will find time and money to hang out at a café and bitch. Topics will include hanging and gutting a deer, what kind of compound bow is best for use on Elk, using ergot fungus on your rye crop to your advantage, and how to weave your own feminine napkins.

PS: An actual quote, "[Kim's meal] shouted 'fiesta,' tugging us south of the border..." Tomato soup with cilantro is not "South of the Border", asshole. Pozolé is. Throw some fucking hominy and chile colorado in there, and then we'll talk. How the hell did carnitas and tomato soup cost you that much, lady? Were the swine nursed by Swedish wet nurses until their first birthday? Were they fed a strict diet of creamed niblets once they were weaned? Christ.

Image via Flikr

Unbefuckinlievable

FIrst you erect that disgusting testament to Xenophobia- "the Border Wall", now you're spraying a neurotoxic herbicide to get rid of an invasive species of water plant to improve your line of sight? Are you people nuts???!!! Line of sight my ass! How about some fucking FORESIGHT?! Here is data from an environmental factsheet regarding imazapyr, which will be sprayed on tall river grasses along Laredo and Nuevo Laredo via prop plane.

"The active ingredient, imazapyr, is marketed in compounds by the trade names,
Chopper, Arsenal, and Assault. Imazapyr is a non-selective broad-spectrum
systemic herbicide, absorbed by the foliage & roots, with rapid transfer to the
xylem & phloem to the meristematic regions, where it accumulates and causes
disruption of protein synthesis. This leads to interference in DNA synthesis and
cell growth of the plants. The result of exposure is death of new leaves.1 It was
first registered in the United States in 1984.

"Toxicity to Humans: The primary route of potential harm would occur during the
application process. If contact occurs, imazapyr is irritating to the eyes and can
cause rashes, redness and swelling at the site of exposure. The amount of the
product needed to produce an acute effect is relatively large (LD50= >5000 mg/kg
& LC50= <100. Imazapyr is not a carcinogen and has no known reproductive
effects.

"Risks to the Environment:
Imazapyr by its nature does not distinguish between the plants it kills. Thus, rare
and endangered plants are particularly at risk from exposure to the herbicide.
The EPA has stated that “jeopardy” will occur to terrestrial and aquatic plant
species from the use of Arsenal.2
In soils, imazapyr is persistent. The EPA reports that the half-life of imazapyr is
17 months.3 If applied to soil, imazapyr is expected to have very high mobility
and thus is likely to contaminate water. Studies have detected imazapyr in
surface as well as groundwater. If released into water or if the chemical moves
through soils and finds its way to water, imazapyr is not expected to adsorb to
suspended solids and sediment based upon the adsorption coefficient. Studies
on the effects of imazapyr to macroinvertebrate communities did not yield
effects.4 This chemical is not expected to have impacts to salmon species.

"Breakdown Products
One primary breakdown product of Imazapyr is quinolinic acid which is irritating
to the eyes, respiratory system, and skin. It is also a neurotoxin and can cause
symptoms similar to those in Huntington’s chorea such as loss of coordination
and trembling."


Poisoning the water supply. THAT'S THE WAY TO GET THEM MEZCANS! Oh, you forgot that most South Texans/Northern Mexicans get their drinking water from the RIo Grande? You forgot about the wildlife, farms and PEOPLE who could be sickened by this herbicide with the trade name "ARSENAL"??? And what about down stream run off? Couldn't you just MOW THE FUCKING PLANTS? Fuck you. Fuck you very much.

Image Via NPT/Frontera Norte Sur

The Sins we do, two by two, are paid for one by one...

This anonymous proverb comes up every time I think of Dick Cheney. Please, someone at the UN, or any other party nation to the statute- I pray of you to grow a pair and send this man to the International Criminal Court. Please, someone in Congress (Silvestre? Are you out there listening?), grow a pair and investigate this man. You didn't impeach him when it really counted- when Beelzebub himself was veep- but you just cannot ignore charges like THIS. Democrats- you have a majority in the House and the Senate. Do something with it for God's sake. Republicans in congress, especially you "good Christians" and fellow LDS members (Brother Hatch- I'm talking to you), here are a few scriptures to remind you of your Christian duties. Do I need to remind you that torturing detainees and state sponsored assassination makes Jesus cry?

I guess I do. Here are some passages about justice:

David reminds you: "Who shall ascend into the Hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in His holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul into vanity, nor sworn deceitfully..." [Psalm 24:3-4] Yeah, and David should know. This is good for a politician for so many reasons, but in this instance, will you walk into retirement with clean hands if you don't do something about this kind of blatant disregard for the law and human life?

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." [Matt 7:15-20] You were hired to be the protectors of the Law. You are LEGISLATORS. It is your JOB TO JUDGE THIS MAN. It is YOUR JOB to remove the sick tree from the orchard. Do your job. That is what a balance of power is all about.

And of course, for Brothers Hatch and Reid: "And men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil. And the law is given unto men. And by the law no flesh is justified; or by the law men are cut off. Yea, by the temporal law they are cut off; also by the spiritual law they perish from that which is good, and become miserable forever." {2 Nephi 2:5]

I could spend hours going through the Bible to point out passages which out Republicans as hypocrites, but I don't have time. And this is not a partisan issue. If you care about justice. If you are a protector of the weak. If you give a shit about YOUR OWN liberties. This man needs to be brought to account before the country whose laws he corroded and whose people he has shamed.

You have a job to do, ladies and gentlemen. You are supposed to protect this country from constitutional gangrene, and you have failed. If you want to redeem yourselves as the protectors of the law, do the job we elected you to do. You have let this man corrupt the system in a way Nixon only had wet dreams about. Please, redeem yourself by bringing this man to justice.

Oh, and CNN? How worthless are you? You all need to be sent back to basic High School Journalism 101 classes. You people are so unbelievably spineless.

CORRECTION: upon further inspection, the quote is attributed to Rudyard Kipling.