Saturday, March 14, 2009

Because I think way too much about this stuff...

Remember that post about Walgreens and marital aides ? I'm sure you do. Well, I was helping a lawyer friend do some work for his SOB (that's "Sexually Oriented Business") clients, and the thought occurred to me that- hey! Texas has some of the strictest ordinances pertaining to the sale and distribution of marital aides in the United States. How is this shit going to fly?

For those of you unfamiliar with the law, it goes as follows:

They are illegal. It is illegal to sell any phallus shaped device used for vaginal or anal stimulation in Texas. Period. Dildos, vibrators, those egg shaped things they call "back massagers" in the Pyramid catalogue, all of them are technically illegal in Texas. You can read a short history of Texas vs. SCOTUS decisions on sexual privacy here.

For those purchasing a marital aid, five is the limit. More than five and you're considered a distributor.

Adult book stores generally get around the law via relabeling their product as "novelty" or for "medical use". Would Walgreens be able to use that argument considering the type of business normally conducted at a pharmacy? Or would they avoid the Texas market all together to avoid prosecution.

For the record, it must also be noted that cunni/ana-linguis and fellatio remained illegal in Texas until 1994, and sodomy laws weren't repealed until 2001. I'm pretty sure Texas must have a law against frottage and vaginal sex not concluding in pregnancy somewhere in the books, but what do I know.

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