Sunday, April 8, 2012

This is why I don't let my kids act in local commercials...

Oh, Morris. Really? This?

Reyes Works -- Say No to Drugs -- from Silvestre Reyes on Vimeo.

I know you’re pretty straight-edge, but you know there’s a reason why ad agencies don’t piss test their employees. (If they started doing that they wouldn’t have any, amirite?) I don’t know, maybe they piss test people in accounts, but you catch my drift.

Yes, whiskey may have fueled the agencies of the 50’s and 60’s but I think, if you’ve seen any of the ads coming out of agencies like C, P + B, run by “young dynamic creatives”, you’d know damn well what today’s creative is fueled by.

Regardless, that’s a pretty reductive and (cough) childish way to handle an earnest plea for re-thinking US drug policy.

If you really want to get nasty, why not pull out the big gun? Huh? There are plenty of folks, Congressman Reyes included, that remember this little footnote in El Paso’s history of public malfeasance-

Rubbergate. Waaay back in 1983, Beto’s dad, Pat found himself in some hot water thanks to a condom found in his vehicle filled with a “mysterious off-white powder” that was later destroyed by Sheriff’s deputies. Chemical analyses were never able to be performed on the substance thanks to its destruction, and sheriff Willie Hill was suspended- his deputees indicted. Pat insisted that he was set up and agreed to take a lie-detector test for the Herald-Post, which he later backed out of.

I can all ready hear the script now.

[CUE OMINOUS MUSIC]

[IMAGE OF LINES ON A MIRROR]

[CUT TO PAT’S FACE]

[KEN BURNS STYLE CLOSE UP OF PAT’S FACE]

VO: PAT O’ROURKE THREW WILLIE HILL UNDER THE BUS TO HIDE WHAT?

[CUE SOUND OF BUS HORN]

[F/I IN FROM PAT TO BETO’S FACES]

VO: NOW BETO O’ROURKE WANTS TO LEGALIZE DRUGS? WHAT’S HE HIDING?

[CUT TO PHOTO OF THE TAP AND/OR VIDEO OF PATRONS DRUNK AND ROWDY/ SOMEONE “DOING A LINE” IN THE MEN’S ROOM]

VO: WE ALREADY KNOW HE LIKES TO “HANG OUT” AT THIS “DIVE”.

[SIDE BY SIDE PAT AND BETO]

VO: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON?

[BLACK SCREEN]

[FADE IN TEXT]

VO: SAY NO TO DRUGS. SAY NO TO BETO.

Or, you know, you could just stick to the real issues.

[DISCLAIMER- IF YOU CANNOT SEE THE SARCASM DRIPPING FROM THAT “SCRIPT” YOU REALLY NEED TO LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP]


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